Each and every day I am finding this to be so true. As I look back on my life so far I can see each and every situation, good or bad has lead me to where I am today. In the bible it says in everything give thanks. When I get past a trial and look back, sure it is easy to be thankful for it because I see where it lead me. During it however, is a different story. Those old voices start to come back telling me I am a failure, I can’t do it, why try. Then questions start, why God?
This past week has been a big trial for me. When I really started trying to grow my business I was excited, ready, and felt like I finally found my purpose. I surrendered my plans to God and I genuinely meant it. It gave me such a peace. This last week has put that to the test. With still no sales on Etsy I began comparing myself to others who are extremely successful at it. Then came decreased sales at craft shows, making me feel like, wow, I can’t even sell locally!
Wednesday I headed off to Old Settler’s Day’s in Metamora. I was ready to make some sales to boost my confidence. Well God had other plans. In 3 days of sitting there I made 3 sales. I was alone the entire time, got to load and unload my car by myself in the sticky heat. I have scratched my car up from loading and unloading more than I care to admit, got caught in a thunderstorm without a tent, and dumped all my products in transit from my booth to my car. Not exactly the confidence booster I was looking for. Wednesday Loren got to welcome home a hot mess of a wife. This morning as you can imagine, I wasn’t really looking forward to going. I kept making excuses of why I should just stay home. A small voice in my head kept telling me “Go.” So I finally decided to suck it up and do it all over again. Today was no different, and I even left early because I was selling next to nothing. But today I left with a peace. What changed?? My attitude.
Somewhere between Wednesday and today, I once again surrendered everything. If I only sell one more thing this year, I will be so thankful for that sale! If I had immediate success, I don’t think I would appreciate each and every sale as I do in this moment. I began thinking on how grateful I am for the talent to be able to do this. Thankful for the love that I have for creating and designing. I know this is what God wants me to do. He never promised it would be crazy successful. In my own plans I created this perfect road. I knew it was God’s will so of course it is going to go smooth right? When things started going a different way than my plan I began to worry. Today I am choosing to overcome that worry. I know God has a great purpose and plan for me. I can do everything in my power to make the situation turn out as planned, but if it doesn’t I am ready to accept that. God has a better path planned. I am going to keep trying and never give up, but on a far less rigid scale. I am open to where God leads. For the first time in my life, today I can honestly say, I am thankful for the hard time I am going through right now.
“For I the Lord they God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”