Lately my mind has been a little cluttered. Cluttered with fear, worry, the busyness of life. Cluttered with the stuff of this world. Why does it seem so easy to remember every single worry, every single fear, every negative thought? Why is it so hard to remember all the positives of life, all that God has done for me, details of a sermon? Why is it so hard to just be still and know that he is God?
I know the truth that God is there for me, and all this distraction in my mind is not from him. Yet it is so hard to let go and get rid of the clutter. My inner child can surface and I can begin to pout, refusing to think on the positive’s and joys of life. Instead of trusting God I can let fear and insecurities take over.
One day in a fit of frustration I asked Loren if I would ever overcome my fears and insecurities. Why can’t God just take them away? Do you ever get to that point? Asking God why he doesn’t just do something for you? I know I do more than I care to admit. I know God can do anything, that is not the question. I just can’t help but wonder why he chooses not to sometimes.
As I started thinking more on this I began to realize that if God took all our hurts and struggles away, why would we need him? When would we ever cry out for help from him? We wouldn’t need to come to him for forgiveness. We would have our own strength. That is not the design in which we were created. God is our father and our strength comes from him, not of ourselves. Paul had a thorn in the flesh. We don’t know what it was, but it was enough for him to call out of God and ask him to take it away. You know what God’s reply was?
“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Paul’s reply was that he would take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses. He acknowledged that when he is feeling weak, he is strong through the Lord.
This needs to be my response too. When fears come, I need to call to God to help me through them instead of asking why he won’t take them away. Isn’t it so easy to back away from something that seems to hard? To throw our hands up and say well I can’t do that. If it is God’s will, you can do it. Don’t be scared of it, ask God to make you strong. He will. It may be hard and scary, but with God on your side you can do anything.
To battle my cluttered mind I have been thinking a lot on Phillipians 4:8- Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” I have found myself back at the verse a lot throughout my life. But I never really dug into what each word means. I looked each word up in a thesaurus and picked a few synonyms that really struck me. So when I get stuck in my little trench of fear I can resort to this and ask myself, are my thoughts right now following Phillipians 4:8??
- True- factual, genuine, heartfelt, faithful, unwavering, accurate, verifiable.
- Honest- upright, honorable, righteous, truthful, sincere, genuine, virtuous.
- Just- open-minded, fair, unbiased, neutral.
- Pure- refined, genuine, clear, fresh, untainted, wholesome, upstanding, worthy.
- Lovely- beautiful, appealing, sweet, charming, delightful, pleasant, wonderful, sublime, terrific.
- Good Report- respectable, praiseworthy, creditable, worthwhile, laudable.
- Virtue- goodness, morality, integrity, decency, talent, strength, attribute.
- Praise- applaud, compliment, commend, glorify, reverence, give thanks to, approval, worship.