Days go by. Some seem never ending, while others are gone in a blink. Years go by. Life changes, people change. I have been pondering time quite a bit recently. It amazes me how fast it really goes. Now that I have become a mom my life has changed dramatically. No more is life about me. It is devoted to a little girl who completely depends on me. A little human who I pour my everything into. And as I think about time I think about 4 years ago graduating college. Big accomplishment right? Then I got the big girl job, that made me feel pretty important. Finally, using the skills that I had gained after many hours of studying. But after awhile my heart really wasn’t into it. I knew eventually I would want kids, and I really wanted to stay home with them. So I decided to start a handmade shop on Etsy. I was so busy last December, 100+ orders. It made me feel so accomplished. I was living my dream.
Where am I now? Twenty-three sales on Etsy this December. It has left me struggling inside. Wondering why when I so desperately want to do so well. People ask how’s your Etsy shop doing? “Well there are still sales, but it has slowed down since having Kina.” It is a discouraging feeling. Because now I am “just a stay at home mom”. How often do we hear that? We ask someone if they work. “Nope I am just a stay at home mom.” We all to often say it as if that is not a very big accomplishment. I, for one, have fallen into the rut of feeling like it’s not very purposeful.
How untrue that really is. As I look back on my “accomplishments” none of them hold a candle to becoming a mom. Why do we let ourselves feel like it really is nothing?
Maybe because each day brings one more diaper to change, one more face to wipe, one more tantrum to calm. Maybe it is because no matter how hard we try the house is still an utter mess. We start to think we have one job, and that is to take care of the kids and keep the house and we can’t even do that. At the end of the day we are tired. Our to-do-list is far from completed and we feel like the day slipped by without meaning. And we fall into the trap of wondering what our purpose is.
Yes, parenthood is hard work. Staying at home with kids is hard work. Looking past all the tears and redundancy, lies a purpose far greater than anything I have ever done. A high calling that tends to get overlooked in our society. I have been entrusted with a tiny soul who needs to be taught and nurtured. A tiny heart to teach about Jesus, to be cared for. It is easy to think we are not changing the world, but we really are. It is easy to get lost in the loads of laundry and overlook the real purpose. I got lost in a superficial purpose. As I shoved another load of laundry in I knew I wouldn’t change the world by folding one more burp rag. I chose to overlook the real meaning of motherhood. I am raising a child who I pray will one day follow God’s calling for her. I am striving my hardest to raise her up to be a kingdom kid. The more I dwell on feeling unaccomplished, the more I miss the real purpose I have been called to. In my eyes it may be one story to read, one more nose to wipe, one more goofy face to make. In Kina’s eyes it is one more act of love, one more glimpse of Jesus’s love, one more reassurance she is cared for.
So to all my stay-at-home mom’s, next time someone asks you what you do, leave the “just” out. Say proudly “I am a stay at home mom.” We need to start believing it is a high calling. It is an accomplishment that is far higher than we have ever done. Maybe you have left a very fulfilling career to be a stay at home mom. Maybe you have always been a stay at home mom and wonder if you could be doing something greater with your life. Whatever it is, know that this whole stay at home mom thing, is a huge deal. It’s a big accomplishment and you are doing great!
***Please note- this post is not intended to make working mom’s feel bad, or that they made the wrong choice. Not at all, it is to uplift mom’s who stay home and may be feeling a little discouraged. To remind them that staying home with kids is also a very high calling.**