So many ideas, so many things to get done, not enough time. I have been feeling a little anxious lately. A little bit rushed. I have so many ideas for The Ruffled Stitch, yet so many things I want to do here at home. It has left me with mixed feelings. Feelings of needing to rush through a task so I can get onto the next task. While there are also feelings of wanting to just slow down and enjoy the moment. To not feel guilty for reading a book, or going for two walks, or selfishly sewing something just for me, or spending to much time getting baby giggles.
My personality type leaves me scrambling and rushing, but lately I have been feeling like God is telling me “slow down.” Enjoy the moment. Take a break. It is ok to just be still for once. It’s easy to think about, hard for me to do. The other night I was talking to Loren and he said, enjoy these moments with Kina. You won’t always be young, and your daughter won’t always be this age. Enjoy every moment.
I am so enjoying motherhood right now. It has been teaching me so much, and those baby smiles and squeals never cease to melt my heart. Yet, the rushy part of me feels like that is somehow not enough. I want to do all the things I have in mind for The Ruffled Stitch, but I know being a mommy and wife is my first priority right now. To do those jobs first, and do my very best and focus on RS second. Life has different stages, and we are pulled in different directions leaving us to take on new priorities. My priorities have changed since having Kina, but it’s hard to not want to still try and do it all. The fear of missed opportunities and the ever constant comparison problem leaves me rushing through life trying to do it all.
But I hear it again, “slow down.” And I really want to do just that. So here it is, I am going to let all my ideas go. To put them on that back burner and only try one at a time. To not worry how long it takes me to get it done. To enjoy the simple moments of each day because time slips by way too fast not to. I want to slow down and enjoy the beauty of each moment because when we take the beauty from a moment, it helps us to get through the tough moments. Being thankful for each moment brings peace and happiness. Slowing down, may mean letting go of things I want to do right now, but it will also mean I won’t regret rushing through my little girl’s life.
I want to slow down so I don’t miss the everyday small blessings that God places in my life.