There has been this war inside me. A war between being a mom and being a business owner. The other day I wrote a post on what defining what success means to you. It is something I need to remind myself of constantly. Success doesn’t always mean being recognized. Success can mean lots of things, and just because we don’t “feel” successful doesn’t mean you aren’t. I am writing this post today to let go a little. To remind myself that right now, at this very moment, success to me does not mean owing a business. Success to me right now is being a great wife and mom. To use my time first on my husband and daughter. I remember saying when I was pregnant, “I am never going to stop putting lots of effort into my business.” I am learning very quickly that I really need to stop saying never! At that time I couldn’t comprehend why some bloggers I followed shut up shop because they had kiddos. I am learning very quickly just why they did.
Now I am not saying I am shutting up shop. Not at all. I still need that creativity and I have a deep passion for sewing and creating. I want to continue sharing that with you. I am starting to feel though that selling wallets on Etsy may not be the direction God is leading me for The Ruffled Stitch. I have many ideas and goals I would like to achieve, but I am taking a step back and praying that He will lead me exactly where he wants me. For now though, I am considering revamping the shop down to a few different things. I am also in the works of releasing something new and completely different. Hopefully coming real soon!
As far as my blog goes, it is also going to be placed second. I write for three reasons. 1)To remember things, it’s like my diary. 2)To help me sort out my thoughts. 3) To hopefully encourage someone along the way. I told Loren when I started, even if I touch just one person it will be worth it. I felt and still feel God calling me to write. However I can get wrapped up in taking all the advice to “grow your blog”. Posting regularly is one tip. I am letting go of that. I will write for the three reasons listed above, not because I have to meet a quota of posts for each week.
It’s hard for me to let go a little. To step back and give it to God. To find the success in being a mom and wife first. I think another little part of me that is struggling to let go is the part of me that has worked and made some type of income since I was 11. Working is just instilled in me. But as I look at my little girl, I feel called to “work” for her first and make an actual income second. To realize that my job may not bring in a ton of income at the moment, but it is the job God wants me to do right now. To glorify him through being a mom instead of making wallets. And to hold on to the feeling that maybe a way down the road, he may have other plans for me. But now, in this moment, be content exactly where he has planted me.