Lately I have been feeling a little bogged down by life. The demands, the expectations, the turmoil. It has left me feeling afraid and uncertain of who I am. I can’t read the news, it stresses me out. I would prefer to hear nothing about what is going on at all, but it just isn’t possible. I worry our religious freedom will be taken away. I worry we may experience another terrorist attack. I worry what people will think of me if I do this or that. I obsess over trying to be perfect and please everyone. I have all these negative feelings boiling inside until I feel like I can’t take it anymore. And then God gently reminds me that He is in control. All the problems in this life don’t really matter. What matters the most is that first we love Him with all our heart, and second we love our neighbor as ourself. The two greatest commandments in the bible hinge on love.
Matthew 22:36-40: “Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
I am not sure about you, but I have been feeling like the world is in so much turmoil lately. It seems like shootings are becoming the norm. Fightings all around about so many things. Lives are being lost to drug addictions and suicides seem to becoming more common. I feel bombarded by negativity. It makes my heart so sad to see what I perceive as the fight to fill a God sized hole only God can fill. It is overwhelming and heart breaking. I then see even Christians disagreeing over things. I see strife within the church. I see wars on Facebook between christians and non-christians. I see these things and I want to cry. Because when I really look at it I can’t help but wonder where is the love? The greatest commandment seems to be forgotten about. In a strange way I feel like we as Christians are doing it out of what we feel is love. We want to shine our light and bring what seems to be a turmoil filled world to Jesus, but are we doing it the wrong way? First and foremost are the hurtful things being said back and forth on Facebook. How can we show Jesus’s love through a few sentences in a comment to someone we don’t even know? I personally don’t feel that Facebook is the time or place to be telling people they are wrong.
There is the Christian-Non Christian turmoil, and then there is the Christian-Christian turmoil. Where we try and “fix” each other. Again, I really believe it is out of the intention of love. I believe we are all convicted in a different way. We are all different people, very lovingly designed and planned by God. We each have a specific purpose and role for our Lord. He wants us to serve him in our own unique ways. That doesn’t mean we can do whatever we feel like doing, but that is a topic for a whole other discussion. The point is, just because I do something one way, doesn’t mean you should too. We are UNIQUE. We are not all created to be the same. I often wondered why I felt convicted to not do something someone else was doing. I struggled with feeling like well if it isn’t wrong why should I not do it? I learned to stop questioning why I was convicted in different ways than others, and start realizing only God knows my heart. ONLY God, not my husband, not my parents, not my daughter, ONLY God truly knows my heart. Only God knows what I can and can’t handle. That is why he convicts me to do the things I do. That’s why I realized it was much more important to be tuned into what he wanted for my life than what others want for my life. I believe if I am fully tuned into doing what God wants me to do, even if I don’t really want to do it or it technically isn’t “wrong”, I will be doing what I should be. The hard part comes in where someone else feels God is convicting them to do something totally different. Then we as sin filled humans begin to look at each other and judge. I don’t even think it is out of a desire to judge. It is out of a seed satan plants in our hearts to cause turmoil among ourselves. To be so worried and caught up in what others are doing that we lose focus on what God wants us to do. We begin to bicker at each other. Then the world looks in and sees Christians fighting over something that seems so petty, and decides to stay away from Christians if that what serving Christ is all about. We fight over our differences and getting our Christian walk just right that we lose the true fight to bring others to Christ.
It breaks my heart to see all the hurting in the world. Lives are lost seeking comfort in things that will never bring comfort. The world is in need of Jesus’s love. The love that says I see you, I hear you, and I feel you. A love that says I am a sinner saved by grace. Jesus loves you just as much as he loves me. A love that doesn’t fight over small things. A love that says I want to get to know you. I want to understand you before I try and “fix you”. A love that leads us to look at ourselves first. I don’t know about you, but I know I have so many problems and bad attitudes that I need to correct before I can even begin to try and “fix” someone else. We as Christians need to fight for the two greatest commandments. If I really think about loving someone as myself, I really start to realize that I need to treat people how I would want to be treated. Loving someone as yourself is a really tall order. It’s not something we can overlook or undermine. I think we need to really think before we act. Think more past the hurt we may feel. Overcome our own pride to really look into the eyes of every single person on this earth and love them as ourself. To see each person as a soul that Jesus loves. To not complain about our government, our church, our family. To feel the enormous burden of shining the love of Jesus instead of the shallow love of humans. To ask God every single day to do what HE wants not what I want. To think twice about voicing our opinion as fact. To start seeing ourselves as who we are: Ambassadors for Christ. When I look at my own heart, I see filth. I see pride. I see my own opinions. I want to see Christ. I am so unworthy of what he has done for me and I have a lot of fixing to do in my own heart.